Common courtesy

Just a few thoughts on office etiquette, which I'll only share because most of the people who read this don't know where I work.

1) Potty Privacy: This applies equally to men & women, so don't think I'm sexist just 'cause I'm saying "stall" -- this means urinals, too, and in fact, might apply more so to urinals. If someone (say, me) is peeing in the first stall in an otherwise-empty bathroom, kindly do not enter the neighboring stall to do your business, especially, for G-d's sake, if you're here to poop. GEEZ. Show a little finesse and move into the end cube, farthest from the door. This is bathroom rule #1, and you should have learned it in first grade!!! Also, wash your damned hands. I don't want to share a door handle, workplace, or KITCHEN with someone who's got dirty bathroom hands. EW.

2) Microbiology 101: Keep track of your rotting food in the communal fridge, please. I don't need the nausea-induced weight loss plan brought on by your thousand-year-old tuna and broccoli rabe salad, ok? I'll make sure my berries aren't furred and my sour cream's not green if you'll sniff your items every now and again and get them out of the fridge before the Discovery Channel comes a'knockin'.

3) Refill What You Empty and Fix What You Break: Do you enjoy anticipating a hot cup of coffee and finding nothing in the pot? Do you like putting your originals in the copier only to find that it's hopelessly jammed with 5 different doors to open and wheels to turn to get all the bits of hot paper out of there before you can start your job? No to both? Surprise, surprise, it sucks for the rest of us too when you are an inconsiderate pig and take the last of the coffee without re-brewing a fresh pot and when you leave the copier jammed and finish your job elsewhere. The beauty of the latter is that we can usually figure out who you are because your copy scraps betray you. Imagine living in a world where we all treated one another as we'd prefer to be treated. Too hard? Ok, start small: create an office environment where you treat people as you'd like to be treated. Baby steps, baby steps.


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