12.02.2005

Beware: Judgmental rant ahead!

So today's missive from the land of celebrity gossip is that Brad Pitt has filed a petition in LA County Superior Court to adopt Angelina Jolie's two children, and change their names to Maddox and Zahara Jolie-Pitt.

Now let me just get this straight in my tiny little provincial mind. This woman, aged all of 27 or so, has already married and divorced two other actors in rapid succession. She is supposedly this paragon of all virtue, UNiCEF ambassadress and honoree and whatnot, yeah? Travels the globe, toting said two children with her, makes all kinds of statements about how she wants nothing more than to provide stability and a good home for her children and the world's children, in general.... Right so far? Less than a year ago, her current partner was married to someone else, and unless some big lies were being told by everyone concerned, A and B weren't even an item until 6 months ago (and I don't like to think people are liars, so I readily admit I always believed nothing was going on until the Pitts' divorce was filed in March; I am now, sadly, skeptical). SIX MONTHS ago.

Mr. Pitt might have a lot going for him in the boyishly-engaging-charm department, and he's a passable actor (if you ignore The Devil's Own, which in the interest of not making you all cringe, I will), and seems to be a decent human being, albeit with some rather unconventional ideas about marriage and lifetime commitment. He famously -- to me, anyway -- said, on the occasion of his marriage to Jennifer Aniston, "We'll see where it takes us. We've agreed to re-assess and re-evaluate and make sure we're never in a relationship we don't want to be in. We're in it for as long as we both want to be" -- or words to that effect. All of which is super cool, and whatever, except if YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED. You know, that thing you do wherein you promise to love, honor, cherish & respect, forsaking all others, 'til death do you part? Or, to update events, not such a comforting life-philosophy when you are ADOPTING CHILDREN.

Say, Brad, what happens when you get tired of Zahara and Maddox's mommy? You've tired of Jen, Gwyneth, Juliette, and I don't really know how many other people in your 42 years, which, again, is fine, and more power to you for being self-actualized enough not to stay in an unhappy relationship, but whoa there when you're talking about kids, whose world is already probably a bit on the shaky side, especially come the future day when they have to deal with being adopted when all their little friends are being raised by biological families, etc etc. You gonna add to that burden by being an absentee dad? Your run-rate to date is about 4.5 years, which will barely see Zahara into grade school, and puts Mad right at 8 or 9, just when things start getting tough for kids for real.

And what about you, Angie? What happens when you're done with Brad, as you've been done with Johnny and Billy Bob (ok, you get that one as a gimme) and however many others? What happens when the moment you're fed up with him coincides with the moment he's fed up with you and the only real victims of this cataclysm are Mad and Zahara?! I am just sick thinking of what you're likely to put those two sweet precious littles through, and I can't believe you're going forward with this folly. Ugh. Puke. You should be ashamed. And the state of California should be reading that petition with a seriously jaundiced eye, blinded to wealth and fame, and really seriously considering the stability of the relationship and the home(s) into which the children have been adopted.

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